Abused Re-Make
by Hollowshirosaki413
Summary: Re-Make (1) Ichigo Kurosaki was a teen that was constantly beaten due to the fact that he was gay. He was a nothing; he was something that has been thrown to the side not by just the school population, but his parents also. But when his middle school crush, Grimmjow, swoops in and saves the day, what's going to stop him from pursuing his dream?
1. Safety

Title: Abused  
Author: Hollowshirosaki413\D.R. Ward  
Date: 1-19-13

Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki was a teen that was constantly beaten due to the fact that he was gay. He was a nothing; he was something that has been thrown to the side not by just the school population, but his parents also. But when his middle school crush, Grimmjow, swoops in and saves the day, what's going to stop him from pursuing his dream?

A\N: Well, I ended up re-doing this chapter for the first time – the date is 5-18-13. I plan on re-constructing this whole series, so I advise you, before reading the updated chapters, to go back and read these just in case I changed some factors within the story. I hope you like this more than my first story, I hope for a better success! Please, enjoy and review if you guys have time! I would appreciate it and think of you in a lot better light then I would with people who fav and get it over with. X3

Abused  
_Ichigo Kurosaki POV_

~oOo~

I tried to catch my body as I saw the concrete coming closer and closer to my face, as if in slow motion, but my arms were rendered useless and a sickening _crack _next waved in the air. I hissed, an animalistic sound passing my lips as a jolt of pain disappeared from my outer core to my inner; I desperately wanted to fight back – but I knew that would draw too much attention to my body. So here I lay, like many times before, with a group of gangsters surrounding me with sickening smirks on their face. All of them hated gays – all of them hated _me._ And as much as I hated them back, I never lifted one finger against them. I knew I shouldn't. So I didn't.

A kick to the side of my ribs caused a howl to escape my bleeding lips, my eyes wide and popping as I try to find an escape from the pain. My thought, even though battered, were clear as day. Previous wounds I had either opened or bruised over again. My head was aching and I was wondering, silently, if there was any Ibprophin that happened to be lying around so I could smuggle it.

The head gangster, or leader, scowled and called me disgusting over and over as they kicked and jabbed and laughed. I fought the need to cry; after so long those words still burned a scalding piece of wool inside of me, making me feel like a useless piece of shit that walked the world even when they should not. They called me evil, a pawn of the devil, a freaky piece of shit that shouldn't even be alive – they called me anything and everything they could possibly think of.

There were around seven of them. Even with the blood invading my eyes, I could see blurred figures, but I could hear them better. Whenever I was beaten my eyesight was torn from me but my hearing was as acute as ever – it was the best aspect I had.

I felt another metal-cased shoe force its way under my hipbone. I cried out, scared for my life, as the others hounded on my ribs, but there was nothing I could do, nothing I can used against them to protect myself. I had nothing; there wasn't anything that could protect me. Money, I didn't have any. Friends, I had none. Allies, no one would even think about it. Strength, I had it, but I didn't use it – and now I'm sure that with all these injures I couldn't use it if I tried. Anger, I had it, but there was nothing I could use to let it go. I was, literally and figuratively, alone.

And it felt horrible.

"Ya piece of shit gay kid…Fucker's like ya ruin the world…" The Leader snarled. Everyone else showed their agreement by wooing or something of the sort, leaving me able to do nothing but groan. It hurt. Really, really bad – it hurt. I wanted to go crawl in a hole and die, never, ever to return. But I knew I couldn't. They wouldn't have me to hound on anymore, and those idiots would go find some other helpless gay man or women to beat up. Sometimes life just wasn't fair.

"God, ya annoy meh…." One of the others growled. The leader let out a hysterical laugh. It showed that he agreed.

I felt another harsh kick and a few more harsh jabs before they got tired of me. One spit on me, then another, and then the remaining six or seven and by the time they were done, my face was covered in their disgusting, sticky saliva. I wanted to throw up, oh, how I did, but I couldn't. It would hurt my stomach. Footsteps then descended away; hopefully far, far away, their voices carrying down and then out of the alley. When their voices faded completely, I waited a few more minutes before I tried to move.

The concrete was cold, anyway. That would help my wounds.

A scowl and a cough escaped the battered lips that I owned, sending my scratchy throat in a whole new whirlwind of pain. A bit of blood splattered on the floor because of it as well, and I had to wonder how in the hell I managed to bite the inside of my mouth so much to get it to bleed as much as it was. Carefully, I drug myself to the wall, making sure I kept my breathing slow and shallow and my stomach off of the ground. My hands were all wobbly as I did so. At lease the alley wall was cool – it felt good on my bruising cheek and my aching mind.

The world around me was quiet and I was glad for it. Sounds would just bring an ache to my mind. I would not like that in the least. My head was already aching and my bones were already shaking – I was broken in the middle of the night. I had no clue as to how I was going to get home – or even if I would. Sitting here, the blood would just continue flowing and it wouldn't stop….Would I bleed to death out here, in the cold? Will they have finally done it?

It's never been this bad before. Usually I was able to get up and walk away – truthfully with a limp, but I was still able to do so. This scared me. Was I going to die here? Would I finally fall into the hands of eternal sleep? Maybe I would escape this world….But would I go to hell? Everything thought so; everyone thought every homosexual would eventually be consumed in flames. Maybe I would too. But it couldn't hurt as much as I was hurting now.

I took a deep breath and leaned further into the cool, soothing brick. Just as I groaned, I felt whatever vision I owned blurring, and the next thing I knew, my frame was collapsing….

The last thing I heard was a deranged growl.

~oOo~

_Grimmjow Jeagerjaques POV_

When I walked past the alleyway I didn't expect what I saw.

Ichigo Kurosaki, a gay kid at my school was sitting on a wall, groaning and muttering to himself about how much it hurt. At first I didn't understand what the kid was talking about, but as I stopped and took a few steps into the alley, my cobalt blue eyes widened dramatically.

_The kid looked horrible. _

There were innumerable splotches of blood and continuous scratches and bruises that aligned his once bright skin, and his shirt was ripped in so many places that I couldn't even really tell there was a shirt. His pants were dirty and old-looking. I frowned and stepped in a bit further. This kid looked like he had a number done on him. It was probably because of that stupid gang – what was it – MK5 or something like that? What a fucking stupid name if you ask me.

I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking about whatever happened to this kid, I should be calling Szayel right away. Oh fuck me. I was too tired for this shit. Oh well, the guy was going to die and hey, I don't want this sweet ass to die on my account. So….

Five minutes later that pink-haired prick arrived.

"Get him in the car. We'll fix him up – he's in a terrible state right now." Szayel gave me a look that said 'what the fuck are you doing' but I only shrugged and put my hands in my light grey, worn out jeans. I followed his instructions. Carefully, I lifted Kurosaki into my arms, making sure his limp body wasn't in any way harmed. Seconds later I was putting him in the backseat of his car that I brought him for emergencies – making sure the body was comfortable, of course. Can't have the strawberry bleeding out on me, can I?

After placing him in the car, I moved to the passenger's seat while the pink-haired scientist\doctor got in the drivers. He started the car and pulled away from the curb with flickering lights on the side – what was Ichigo doing in a place like this, anyway? – And settled in for the right. Me – why I was here – was because I just had a meeting with my own gang, and we ended up having to come here because of some stupid ass fuck up. But that wasn't the point.

"Mind telling me, Grimmjow, why we picked up some random kid because he was beat up?" The drive, Szayel, scowled and raised an eyebrow in my direction. I could only scoff.

"Because, fucker, I wanted ta. Besides, I kno' him." A scowl appeared in my features. "A little." I added at the end, because just because he was in my classes didn't mean I actually knew him.

Szayel gave me another look. I ignored it.

It was silent the rest of the way home.

~oOo~

_Ichigo Kurosaki POV_

When I awoke from my sleep, the first thing I noticed was pure, solid flickers of white. My eyes were blurred and my head was aching, but I ignored that as I slowly blinked. _Where was I? _Surely I was not in my own home – my own home was a lot smaller and dirtier. Maybe I was in an insane asylum. It wouldn't be put past me that I was considered insane, because plenty of people seemed to think so. But this also didn't look that scary. Maybe….Hell, I had no clue where I was.

There weren't many things stationed around the room. My aching neck swiveled around the pillow because I was too sore to lift myself up – not to mention my midsection felt like a pile of shit – and I noticed there were miscellaneous paintings all over the place. Some were dark and dreary and some were light on the walls; it was really beautiful. A mahogany dresser was stationed on the wall to the right of the door, with a bouquet of flowers proudly sitting atop of the mass of wood. Then, as I glance to the right, there was a mass of medical supplies sitting on a metal table. I knew, though, that I wasn't in a hospital because….Because it really didn't look one.

And I knew, I knew for sure, where I was the second I turned towards the dresser on my left.

There was a picture. It had beautiful lining of the most wonderful of wood, but as I notice and gather what the hell it was, I realized that none other than Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was in there. He was young, maybe elementary school years, as I notice his facial features. They weren't grown in like they were now. And he was also short – possibly the shortest out of the group of friends he was surrounded with. I could easily pick out Nnoitra – that stick of a man – and Grimmjow's sister, Nel. I didn't know the long haired, brown eyed man who looked a little bit older – I think he was in highschool at the time. Or at least he appeared to be, sort of. Ulquiorra, Grimmjow's lackey and gang-manager-type-thing was staring emotionlessly as the picture, as if he was staring into my very soul.

I shiver. The picture was happy, but he made it kind of creepy.

I bit my lip and glanced around again. So this was Grimmjow's home? Why the hell was I here? Did he pick me up? Why would he? So many questions spurred around inside of my head, so many cogwheels spinning and turning as I try to figure out the reason I was here. But, trying, I still couldn't figure out why.

I groaned. My head was beginning to hurt again.

"Pain relievers are on the nightstand."

I jumped at the high-pitched voice that swallowed the silence. Shocked, I whipped my head towards the door, immediately regretting it as I become dizzy from the quick turn. However I blink it away. At the doorway, resting on the side was a pink-haired man who, I might add, had an arrogant aroma surrounding him. I frowned and nodded, wondering who this guy was. Was he a friend of Grimmjow's? I've never seen him before. And trust me – I should know. There is a reason I know the name Jeagerjaques, after all.

"Thank you…." I drift and I bite my lip. Instead of reaching for the pills, I stiffen and do nothing, still too scared and sore to sit up.

The man in front of me sighed. "My name is Szayel. I was the guy Grimmjow called to patch you up." The pink-haired man with glasses smiled slightly and stepped forward, closing the door. I flinched as it shut. "You have a fractured rib and a nasty fit of bruises that are scattered along your body, as well as a fractured wrist. Nothing's broken." I sighed in relief. It could have been much worse, I guessed, so I was glad with the report that this man – Szayel, had given me.

"T-Thank you. I'm Ichi –…" the man cut me off before I could reply.

"Ichigo Kurosaki. Grimmjow told me about you." Szayel looked sympathic. "Such a sad story – I do envy you. There is nothing wrong with liking men, I think, either." I bit my lips and wondered how Grimmjow knew anything about me, but then, everyone did. No one like this disgusting disease I had. Homosexuality – yeah, it's totally a disease. Though, I was overjoyed to hear that at least this pink-haired man didn't care about my preferences, even if he was a little weird. I smiled slightly.

"Thank you very much, Szayel. For everything. Not many people are willing to look after me."

Szayel scoffed but smiled all the same. "Thank Grimmjow. He was the one who called me. Speaking of….He should want to talk to you. I will call him." At the news about calling Grimmjow was given to me, I scowled and glanced in the other direction, now, once again, uncomfortable. I took a deep breath. _It's alright, Ichigo, you can do this. It's only the crush that you have been addicted to ever since you found out you were gay. No, nothings up, you should be able to handle this all right. _

Yeah, right, totally.

"A-All right. Thanks again."

Szayel left without another word.

When the door closed, I panicked. I couldn't believe that Grimmjow was coming into this room – even if he owned it – to see me. I was freaking out. Was I good enough for me to see him? Did I deserve to see him? I had already been such a disturbance in his life; I should get out of it as soon as I can. Damn it, what was I going to say? Thank you for saving me from a near death experience and I'll get out of your way as soon as I can – as a matter of fact, right now? That shit wouldn't go down well, I just knew it.

I had no idea what I was going to do.

So I did something I knew I was going to do. Take the pain-killers. Szayel was also nice enough to set a glass of water down, but I didn't want to choke so I just swallowed them dry. And then I waited.

I stared at the ceiling long and hard, wondering what the hell Grimmjow was going to say or do. Was he going to hit me? I wouldn't put it past him fixing me up only so he could fight me. But would he really do that? I wasn't sure. I shivered. It was pretty cold in here. Even with the drapes from the window on the left side of the room pulled over the glass, it was still chilly for it to be March. Most would blame it on global warming, but I blame it on us humans. I mean, we're stupid enough to fuck up the environment like it was.

Idiots.

I closed my eyes and took yet another deep breath. I still couldn't move, my body felt horrible and cramped and – how long does it take for a fracture to heal? I wasn't entirely sure. A month? Three months? It was sure to be quite a while. And the bruises, oh, I've dealt with those. They won't heal for a good month or so, and the scratches and the stiches, eh, about two months on average. God, this really was the worst beat-down I've had in a while.

I heard the door creak open for the second time of the night. I knew that right away it was Grimmjow, and, instead of looking at him, I decided to direct my gaze to the purple bed-sheets. They were quite shiny and silky, now that I thought about it. And the black under-draperies, they were pretty nice against his skin….It was kind of like royalty. I inwardly snorted. Yeah, Grimmjow was dirt-ass rich. If I didn't wish that I could be with him so much, I probably would wish that I _was _him. Grimmjow's footsteps echoed in the big room. The sheets kept looking more appealing at the moment went by. More footsteps ensued. The sheets were even more beautiful. The footsteps stopped and from my peripheral vision, I could see his light-jean-clad legs. I gulped.

"How ya feelin'?" I jumped when Grimmjow suddenly spoke. This made me flustered and not a second later I found myself sputtering into the sheets that were covering me. His voice, like a damned heaven, sent welcoming shivers down the base of my spine, and I found that I had to keep myself in check just so Grimmjow wasn't in grave danger of being harassed.

"I-I'm fine, thank you s-so much, I mean, yeah, uh, I'm Ichi-Ichigo, if you don't a-already know and –…." Grimmjow cut me off with a sigh. Good, at least he saved me from my own embarrassment.

"Ichigo Kurosaki. Yeah. I kno' of ya. They really did a number on ya, huh?" The awkwardness was over nine-thousand, as people would say. I gulped.

"W-Worse than usual, yeah…." I found myself responding. Oh shit, did that sound like I was bragging? Damn it, Ichigo, hold yourself together!

"Damn straight, those fuckers." Grimmjow sounded a little bit man. I shook my head. I was probably reading too much into it.

"I appreciate the help, I really do. Not many people have the guts to do so." I sigh contently as I, quite reluctantly, glance into the eyes of my savior. Grimmjow seemed surprised by the actions I had done, but instead of calling me out for it, he simply shut his mouth and shook his head.

"Nah, it's all good."

He really didn't seem like he understood the circumstances from helping me – at least no one, or a very tiny amount, of people saw him walk into the alley. So instead of trying to communicate with looks, I spoke. "You're lucky no one saw you, Jeagerjaq–…."

"Grimmjow."

I coughed. My body still ached. But at least, I think, the pain medication was working – hopefully. "G-Grimmjow." It felt a tiny bit weird using his name. "If they did, or, at least the Guys, you would have trouble." My fingers clenched in the sheets once more. He wouldn't have trouble with them, as much, but he would have trouble with the rumors and the blatant disgust towards him having….Having saved someone of my caliber.

"Keh. Like I care." Grimmjow answered me, his hands coming up his thighs as I watch the seductive motion until they disappeared in his pockets, the dry-washed light blue jeaned crinkling in the manner. I shivered and remembered that I couldn't get my hopes or thoughts anywhere near wanting Grimmjow – I've done that for years and it's gotten me nowhere. Well, I mean, I know that he didn't exactly know either and still probably doesn't, but if I keep on looking at him like I was he was for sure going to know.

I frowned but decided not to argue with him. My head hurt a little bit and as hard headed as Grimmjow was I was sure our argument could go one forever. In place of talking I nodded and smiled slightly at him, my lips twisting in a foreign type of action that I was un-used to. The bluenette seemed to notice this too because not a second later he commented on it.

"Ya don't seem like yer used ta smilin'."

I brought my – Grimmjow's – covers up to my face as a blush overwhelming my features. With a cough and a petulant glance to the side, I replied. "N-Not really." I wanted to kick myself in the ass for agreeing with him. Alas, I couldn't, especially with how much my body hurt. And I was really tired, as well….It was quiet.

Grimmjow sighed. His feet shuffled on the expensive carpeted floor that his dad or mother or whatever owned. The bluenette's aura cast off plenty of annoyed vibes, and feeling those seep into my skin, I pull the covers up past my nose to conceal my embarrassment. Seconds later Grimmjow ruffled his hair as he shifted feet, causing me to glance back him and the movement he made.

"Well, foods ready. Do ya need some help gettin' up? And no one's home – probably won't be fer awhile."

I took the information in gradually. G-Grimmjow? A-And me? Alone? In his house? Eating food? I must have done something right in my past life or something because this was my made up dream for….For as long as I can remember. I mean, grade school, middle, and now high….

_Elementary _

_Journal Entry 1: August 30, 2007_

_I watched Grimmjow walk by for the third time today. He was a transfer from Germany and had a heavy accent. I liked him. I didn't know why – but I did. Maybe it was his attitude or something, I don't know….But I liked him. Journal, why is that? Why does my heart pound for him and my brain long for him? I really….I really want to….To talk to him, but Journal, I'm so scared. What if he beats me like all the others? What if he becomes a regular bully?_

_It's better if he didn't know who I was. _

_Middle_

_Journal Entry 1: December 29, 2010 _

_Renji and them just don't know when to stop. They beat me again today and it hurt really, really bad, and now my body won't function right. I can't stand up, I can't feel my legs, and I'm sitting in the middle of an alley with nothing to do but drag myself into a box of a home. School is getting harder with them here. They will find me at random times and beat me up and I'm getting scared for my life. Journal, what am I going to do? I don't understand them. What's wrong with liking men? Why was it a social evil? God must hate us. _

_Maybe, Journal, maybe I should've given up long ago. Maybe I should have ended my misery when I was born, a year old, two, or so on and so on. Because it's hard to live like this – even the school hates me even though they pay for my schooling….Maybe I should've died. Maybe I should still kill myself. I should, shouldn't I? It's not like anyone would miss me. _

_Journal Entry 2: January 5, 2010_

_When I came back to school, everyone ignored me, like always. But I could feel a stare on my back – unlike all the ones of hatred. It was that of curiosity. I couldn't figure out who it was. When I glanced around, albeit very, very, very carefully, with my head down and my bangs covering my face, no one was staring or anything. But I could still feel it. Journal, what is this tingly feeling? It's kind of scary, but it's welcoming in all the same._

_When I got out of class I turned just in time to see electric blue eyes out of the corner of my eyes._

_I shivered, Journal._

_It was probably my imagination. _

_High_

_First Year – Journal Entry 1: My Last. September 16, 2013 _

_I don't have any more pages, Journal. My pencil is only a nub and I've used the fronts and backs and every little piece of white paper I could find….But this is the last page. I'm sorry, Journal, I will have to stop writing in you. Even if you stayed with me all this time, I'm afraid I have to abandon my pages. I thought, Journal, about trying to find a place to burn you so no one will ever find my words, like they would care, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. _

_Instead, you're staying with me. Maybe I'll look after you from time to time…._

_Goodbye. _

I gulped at the memory and closed my eyes. I knew exactly where my journal was and as I usually carry it around me, I knew I didn't feel that familiar little twinge in the inside pocket of my sweater. I didn't even have my sweater on.

Oh, no. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

Food be damned.

He couldn't have seen it, could he?

"G-G-G-Grimmjow!" I stutter quite loudly as I suddenly sit up, ignoring the jolting cry of pain I let out from my ribs. Instead I lifted my frail arm and pounded against where my journal should be and where it would rest in my jacket, but it was not there. My breath pounded and my eyes widened dramatically as I stared at nothing in particular, still trying to find it. "W-Where is it?! Shit, no, where?!" I yelled in a whisper to myself rather than the bluenette who rushed to my side a few seconds ago. I didn't even notice.

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop movin'!" Grimmjow shouted as he grasped onto my wrists. I froze at the contact as my face snapped up to meet his calming gaze. My breathing slowed ever so slowly.

"W-Where is it…?" I whisper to him.

For a few seconds, Grimmjow didn't respond. The air was silent, and with the soundless aroma I felt my breath kicking up again. My eyes widened some more. They felt dry. "Hey, relax. Relax. Are you talking about this?" Our gazes met. I watched, perplexed and extremely worried, as Grimmjow pulled out an object from his pocket, which was later brought up to my face. Instantly I snatched the object out of his hands and grasped it against my chest, ignoring the flaming pain more and more. "I didn't read anythin', alrigh'? It's okay."

For some ungodly reason, I believed him. Ever so slightly, I nodded, and as I drop the book next to the nightstand, Grimmjow regains full height and sighs.

"Well come on, before the food gets cold."


	2. You Don't Understand

Hello guys and welcome back to the re-make of Abused? How did ya'll like the first chapter? _**Did you think it was better or worse than the first one? I'd like to know, please, if you go visit my poll and vote on it. **_xD If you like the first one better please do voice it, because then I'll keep it the same and only correct grammar! But anyway, lets head out

Abused  
_Chapter 2 _

_Ichigo Kurosaki POV _

~oOo~

When I sat down in the seat with a full plate of food in front of me my mouth began to instantly water. There was a chicken breast sitting on the left side of the appliance, with mashed potatoes on the right bottom and a couple slices of mango on the top. The corn was in-between the mashed potatoes and mango, but as much as I just wanted to dig in and eat a decent meal in what seemed like forever I held myself back and whimpered lightly. My stomach growled but I didn't dare eat. Grimmjow sat down about two chairs away from me on the lavish, giant dining table – you know, one of those long ones that seem to expand forever? Yeah, one of those. It kind of made me wonder what Grimmjow's parents did for a living – but I didn't care about that as much right now. I wanted the food.

"Well?" I jumped at the voice of Grimmjow who, as I glanced over, was stuffing his face with the chicken. I had to fight off a smile but my lips did twitch as how cute he looked. His brow was raised in question and for a second, and I had to admit I kind of forgot about the food.

"Huh?" I blinked.

"Ya gonna eat?"

_Sweet Jesus yes, yes I am._

As if on instinct my hands reacted and not seconds later I was digging into my food, hungrily staring at the object of my famish-ness. From the left side of my Grimmjow chuckled and resumed in eating his chicken. We stuffed our mouths in a comfortable silence. Grimmjow, I admit reluctantly, was a bit more reserved when eating. Me on the other hand – well I ate like an animal. My stomach hadn't been fed in ages and although it was hard to realize that with the plain null aching coursing throughout my body, I did realize it as soon as I took that first bite of the chicken. I did use their expensive, gold-plated fork with the intricate designs for my mangos, and the matching spoon for the corn, but I did it in no orderly manner.

I was lucky Grimmjow's parents weren't there.

With the time given to me while eating I tried to picture what Grimmjow's parents were like. Rich, snobby? Maybe they would hate me as soon as they saw me. Well, I probably wouldn't be here long enough for them to see me – thank god – if Grimmjow knew how to cover his tracks right they would never know. But I was still curious. Right of the bat I knew the two of them were probably drop-dead gorgeous….Especially for the mom to pop out a kid like Grimmjow. I mean, come on, have you seen him? Of course his parents didn't bring up his muscles, but his raw physique and his frame, jaw-bone and collarbone….They were just….Perfect.

I blushed at my thoughts. Instead of complimenting Grimmjow anymore, I thought about the parents.

I pictured the mother with long hair. As I ate the corn, I thought about her features, maybe how they would be placed – slightly hardened features, but still relaxed, a typical business woman. Maybe she always had it back in a bun – like those flight attendants? The ones on the posters? Or maybe she would let it flow freely and have a confident, I know it all attitude.

I already knew both parents walked confidently. If they didn't, I would have to seriously wonder if Grimmjow was adopted, because Grimmjow was the epitome of confidence. I swear – you couldn't find a timid bone on his body if you tried. So they would have to be the same – or at least one of them. Maybe the dad. Now the dad would be a hard-ass, I pictured. Serious and ever-knowing, he would probably end up pushing Grimmjow away more than often and expect too much.

I took my last bite of the chicken and place the bone down on the plate. While I was thinking I noticed that Grimmjow had also cleaned his plate bare; it made sense because he was fucking giant. He burped after a second and I watch as he stretches afterwards, his midsection slightly being shown as his shirt rode up a little more than needed. I glanced away and sighed. For this I would probably have to thank him, even though I had done so already. A proper thank you was definitely an issue – I hadn't eaten like that, or slept like that, or been cared like that since my first parents, Issin and Masaki. That stupid dead foster father did nothing but smoke and shit….And Grimmjow, he was a teen and still took better care of me.

That deserved one hell of a thank-you.

Taking a deep breath and gathering up all of my willpower, I stand. My legs were wobbly and it was still extremely difficult to walk on, but I kept my balance and stared at the blue-haired teenager who took care of my near-death experience. At that, I ignored my ribs and how much they hurt, instead bowing down as far as I could go. It wasn't far, but Grimmjow got the gesture just fine, I think. "T-Thank you." I spoke as I righted myself.

"Fer wha'?" Grimmjow questioned me immediately. An incredulous expression passed both my gaze and my mouth. Was he serious? Did he really think this didn't call for a huge thank-you? Well….Well, as embarrassing as it was, he was really, really, really wrong. He doesn't even know how much it was called for. So instead I would have to tell him.

"For everything. I mean, taking me to your place, going out of your way to help me, patching my wounds…" I glace with a frown at my still-wrapped wrists. "The food, and attempting to comfort me, and, and…not hitting me, not kicking me to the curb, everything like that…" I frown as I close my eyes and take a deep breath, glad to have let that tiny speech out. I was about to lighten the mood and comment about how he cooked the food like a woman, but I decided I wouldn't go into that right now. He probably wouldn't appreciate that. Knowing him he would probably have thought it was disrespectful.

Okay, maybe it was.

Grimmjow shrugged, as if he was uncomfortable with being thanked. "I-It was nothin'." He tried to modernize the statement, but I shook my head as soon as I figured that out to quiet him. No. I wouldn't let him slide like that. Growing more confident in my stance and my voice, I answered his modest call out.

"N-No!" I say. "No one ever helps me, I mean, they're either scared that someone will see them helping me, or they think I'm stupid and disgusting and deserve it, they know that I'm an un-wanted, and -." I stop myself and take a deep breath as I meet his eyes. "I-I mean, I appreciate it, really. I'll pay you once I get the money, but –" Well, there goes my confidence. It flew out the window like a mid-summers bird ready to migrate for the colder weather.

"I won't accept it." He cut me off. With Grimmjow's interruption, I glanced at him in shock. He raised an eyebrow at me. That single blue eyebrow, which twitched a lot, twitched once more, and I found that my mouth was tugging into a frown. Sure it would be difficult to get the money but it wasn't like I was going to walk out of here without repaying my debt to him – my life, at all costs. "What?" His perfect voice questioned when I didn't speak. A pale blue eyebrow, once again, that single eyebrow, then settled down into his bright, electric blue eyes.

_They were so familiar. I just didn't know from where._ It was probably because I've known him for so long.

"Why won't you accept it?" I find that weird. It wasn't like he needed the money, he has all of that and then some, but it was the thought that I'd think he'd appreciate. But then, if he didn't want money, what did he want from me…? I thought about it for a little bit. Knowing Grimmjow – or at least knowing _of _him, he doesn't let any debt unpaid. And I couldn't do much but work off the money, maybe dealing with some of his less-legal run in's, but he wouldn't trust me enough for that, I think….But what would he want? I can't come up with money right away, either. Or at all actually. I mean, just look at me! I wasn't exactly the cleanest –….

Cleanest….

H-He didn't want…Did he? "Y-You don't want sex from me…Do you?" I ask quietly. I didn't want to ask that, but I also didn't want to find out by immediate shock. The mere thought was kind of scary. It wasn't like I was going to say no if it came down to it though, because, well, he was my lifelong crush, why in the world would I say no, but I didn't want to freak and do something stupid if he did. It would probably crush me to think….To think that I was repaying a debt in bed, like a little slutty whore, but if that's what he demanded I would have to do nothing but comply.

The look on his face was amused as I stated so. "I wouldn't mind it, but nah, I don't want sex. I don't want anythin' from ya, Ichi." Grimmjow chuckled at the blush that appeared on my face. "Unless, of course….Ya wanna." He comments lightly. I glance down at the floor with his statement, confused and apposition rising into my thoughts. I was also, y'know, just a tiny bit embarrassed with what he had to say and the fact that I probably insisted something that insulted him. Those rumors were wrong – I bet. He was surely straight as a ramrod.

However, I couldn't stop myself and my lips moved before I could stop them.

"What would you do if I said I wanted to?" I asked the men in front of me seriously. My gaze locked on his once more. The chandelier above the dining table moved just a smidgen, just out of the corner of my eye. My Adam's apple bobbed.

Grimmjow, for once, looks surprised. He then covered it up as he shook his head. "I wouldn't touch you." He shot back gravely. Swallowing the saliva that came up from my mouth, I went back to staring at the floor, my crushed heart beating painfully from the immense shock I had. I tried to mask the hurt on my face, but Grimmjow seemed to see right through me. Stupid blueberry had a knack of doing that. Especially since I was brought here. He continued. "I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't want to fuck ya seven ways into that wall over there, Ichi, but…." He grinned as if it was a common statement. I choked on my eggs. "Yer broken, Ichi. I ain't stupid, and I sure as hell ain't oblivious."

How dare he say that? "I-I'm not broken, I-"

"Shut up." Grimmjow cuts me off. I shut up as I continued staring at him intensely. "I dunno what ya went through er anythin', but I _do_ know it's a lot, so –"

This time, I cut him off. "Kiss me." I tell him. It was more like a bold command, but that really didn't matter at the moment. What was I thinking? What was I doing? For fucks sake, what was I _saying? _Where did all of this confidence come from? But hell, with where I was at now, I couldn't back down….It would stain my name even more to Grimmjow than it already has. Grimmjow doesn't like weakness. Grimmjow doesn't like this. Grimmjow doesn't like that. Grimmjow doesn't…doesn't like...me. It certainly wasn't the first. But it did, I admit, hurt the most.

"…No." Grimmjow states after a few seconds of waiting. A sudden urge of annoyance runs throughout me, and, unable to contain my sudden anger, I slam my fists against the pants that Grimmjow provided for me and snarled.

"I'm not broken!" I hissed at his sudden thoughts that I happened to be weak. "I can kick your ass any day if I choose to, I'm a black belt in Karate, Self-Defense, and Tai-Quan-Doe, and I –"

The blue-haired man interrupted the beginning of my rant. "I know yer not _weak_, Ichi, but yer _broken_." Then Grimmjow looked at my calmly, as if he wasn't surprised at all that I could fight. "I understand why you don't fight back, I should say." Why wasn't he shocked in the least? That I could fight? Especially with how I was made out….Even if I didn't have any noticeable muscles other than what I got from sit ups out of boredom….He…He thought….Oh, fuck it. I need to stop thinking.

I plopped back down in my seat and continued to stare at the expensive gold table cloth – why was everything gold – and fumed on the inside. I didn't want to find out why he thought I didn't fight. I really didn't. He was probably wrong anyway, what would he know about me? Nothing. He shouldn't know anything, anyway. He couldn't. No one pays attention to me other than myself and my journal. No one. So I didn't want to hear it, I really didn't….

But I listened anyway.

"It draws attention to yah. Ya don't like attention, because yer gay, so ya think, why not hide in the shadows? Still too proud to dye that hair though, which I respect…" He mutters the last part under his breath, and I almost didn't catch it. Not stopping, he continued. "But, do ya have any idea how much that's hurtin' yah…?" he finished with a furrowed brow towards me. I look down at my empty plate, half shocked that he had figured me out with a bat of an eyelash, and half awkward that he actually took that much thought into it and _cared._

I could feel his eyes on me, as if they were waiting for a response. I didn't give him one. Instead, I changed the subject to the previous one.

"Kiss me." I say again, still staring at the table. My eyes shut as I breathed through my nose and closed my eyes. "Please." I plead to him, sounding a lot more desperate than needed. My mouth suddenly felt dry as I heard the sound of a wooden chair scraping against the floor. My aching back stiffened, face heated up with an endless amount of blood before I could stop it. The threatening steps that echoed off the kitchen walls continued to come nearer and nearer, closer and closer – right until they stopped in front of me. I could see his bare feet – even _they _were perfect.

Before I could react, Grimmjow's hand was placed under my chin, his lips only a millimeter or two away as he lifted my head up to look at him. I stared at a pair of cobalt blue orbs through my half-lidded, fire-orange ones, my bangs disrupting half of my view. Grimmjow stared back, lust clear as day in his eyes, burning, like they were about to burst if I even moved an _inch. _So, I decided to stay still.

Deadly still.

"Yer such a bossy lil' shit, aint'cha?" he murmurs, his peppermint breath ghosting over the face that I owned. My lips parted; ready to reply, when a pair of perfectly sculpted lips forcefully pressed onto mine, his perfectly shaped tongue deciding to take refuge within my mouth without a seconds notice. His strong arms pulled my up forcefully also. This gave him the advantage to wrap his arms around my waist. I groaned into the immediate kiss, my hands reacting on their own and grabbing their way up to his sea of blue locks.

The feeling that suddenly erupted in me suddenly made my eyes roll back under my lids in pleasure. Grimmjow toyed with my tongue – prodding, rubbing, licking, and swirling, and I had to admit that the kiss was no short of amazing. I groaned into him once more, my body molding with his in undeniable lust. Grimmjow growls animistically against my moistened lips, before he slowly moves away, kissing me once, twice more, before our lips disconnected. His arms still lay fastened around my waist.

I immediately placed my head on his toned chest, only able to reach up to the breast due to my lack of height. Grimmjow's warmth – a warmth that I have fantasized over ever since my middle school years – was finally given to me. It still left me shocked that he gave a living shit about me, that he noticed me enough to try and figure me out. I still couldn't comprehend much of it. Yet, Grimmjow didn't question me, question my life, but just make observations of everyday activities. How did he do that? How did he make me feel so comfortable even when he's trying to figure me out?

I blink as I feel my eyes begin to moisten. Growling to myself, I move my head just enough so my eyes weren't in his shirt, so he didn't feel the cold substance wanting to pool from my eyes. I keep them closed, however, as I feel the first drop of saltwater tear its way down my face, dripping reluctantly onto my shirt. I didn't understand Grimmjow. He acted like being gay was just fine in this world, like it was nothing, like there was nothing to hide day from day. He acted like he was fine with me – like I was _normal. _Why did he do that? _How _did he do that?

I grit my teeth as Grimmjow pulls back from me. I turn around immediately so he wouldn't see my face. I wouldn't let him. How did a simple thank-you go this wrong? Or this right? Or…Or…I'm not entirely sure. "T-Thank you, Grimmjow, for everything. But I have to go." I speak; my voice foreign as it passes my lips. I take my first step, willing to get away from the blue-haired god, and then another quickly, before I felt myself being stopped by a calloused hand.

"So you can willingly let yourself be beaten again, Ichi? Is tha' what ya wan'?" Grimmjow makes me think. I hate when he makes me think. I pull away from him. "Do ya wanna keep runnin' from everythin'? Ya think that's gonna _solve _you?" Grimmjow emphasized. I twitch as I turn to look at him, a snarl on my face, momentarily forgetting the fact that I was crying.

"Don't act like you know me! Stop it!" I yell as I back away from him. "You know _nothing _of me!" I snarl once more as I stumble backwards. My legs got even more wobbly. My body hurt and my ribs, oh god, were they burning, but I channeled out the physical pain as quickly as the mental seemed to pour into my frontal lobe.

He acts so high and mighty. He acts like he's such a tough guy. He acts like he knows everything. He acts like he knows of me, of the world, of every little thing that happened. He acts like he can just waltz in and become something to me, something important, after _everything. _It made me want to scream. Where was he years ago? Where was he when I needed someone like him, where was he when I made the decision to become the protector of others, the punching bag of myself? Where _was _he?

I ramble, and ramble, and ramble on inside of my head. Grimmjow only stares at me, like I was still normal, like he was looking at someone that was just like him, like the world. Why? Why did he try to understand? I didn't even understand myself. I couldn't. Why? So, why? Why did he even dare try?

"You're crying." Mr. Tanned and Devious stated. I growl.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." I hiss out as I turn and make my way to the door. I turn the knob, ready to get out of this wrenched place in which I was brought to.

"Stop running." Why did he have to stop me?

"This won't change anything." Why did he have to help me?

"This won't change who _you _are." Why did he have to save me?

My legs gave out from under me. I fell to the floor, my hands still prominently on the door knob, my head bowed down low as I broke down in front of that man. My face began to heat as I sobbed into the door, no shame on my face as I willing bare my soul out to the world. I didn't cry, I wasn't supposed to cry, so why did he make me? Why did he press all of the right buttons? Why, why, _WHY?_

"Fuck you. Damn you to hell. I h-hate you!" I banter quietly, more to myself than him. I hear Grimmjow's footsteps descend towards me, then stop, as he reaches my bantered form. His arms wrap around me; I don't struggle. He brings me back to bed, even though I was not tired whatsoever, and sets me down. He doesn't leave. Why not? He sits down and lays next to me on bed, patting my hair affectionately as he listens to my sobbing. Why? He wraps his other arm around me, protectively, his voice uttering soothing comments as he tightens his grip on me. _Why?_

"Stupid, stupid man. You're so stupid." I scold him over and over as I continue to wetten his shirt.

"I know." Grimmjow chuckles as he kisses my forehead.

"I hate you."

"Okay."

"Stupid."

"You've said this already."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He understands me. Fuck.

My eyes blur once more as a tear streaks its way down form my face. He wipes it away and kisses my forehead once more. "Why?" I murmur out as I feel his lips press against my head a couple more times. "I don't understand you."

"Great thing I do then."

"Fucker." I smile softly as I bury my head further into him. His chest rumbles again, as he laughs, making me want to chuckle along. I wipe the last of my tears down my face as I snuggle into his warmth.

Grimmjow really was an idiot.


	3. Gone

**EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ.**

Well, guys, I'm really, really, really sorry to say this but I'm abandoning all my stories until further notice. What I would like you guys to do however is vote on my poll for this matter at hand: Do you wish for someone else to take up my stories (if you want to, please PM me x3) or do you want to wait it out and see when\if I ever update them again? And, if I do continue updating, what top five stories do you wish me to cover?

This is going out on every one of my stories to see who will respond to my poll - please and thank you!

Once again, I'm horribly sorry, but I had a huge fallout with Bleach and I just can't get my interest back no matter how hard I try. xD I mean, GrimmIchi and Hichichi don't even appeal to me anymore when I used to obsess over it. So yeah, I'm really sorry. xD


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